Today I think I finally caught my second wind so to speak. I wasn’t as tired today which is GREAT! What I realized is that I often fall asleep with the tv on, and then I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep right away, so I’ll stay up some more until I fall asleep watching the telly again… Well, last night I turned the damn thing off, SLEPT ALL NIGHT LONG, and woke up feeling MUCH better.

I think my body was just screaming for downtime and I listened to it. Now I feel human again!

I also realized that I may have been somewhat not measuring my servings correctly. Kim puts stuff like rice and oats and stuff as “cup” measurements, and I much rather prefer ounces and grams because I’m super anal about keeping things exact. So I had to go back and figure out the totals in grams for the foods on my plan to match what he has so I can get a better hold on servings etc. That’s helped a lot too because I realize I was overeating some things and undereating others.

I’ll admit, I’m doing cardio earlier on in this plan than I did previously where I started to incorporate it more as the icing on the cake towards the final weeks into my shows. I’m leaning out very nicely, but at the expense of my energy in the gym. So I’m going to talk to Kim and see what he says when I check in with him tomorrow. 

One thing I can say is that I walk around looking super swole like a mutha! Like I get great pumps during and after my workouts and I can tell that I’m much fuller and seem rounder in the shoulders/arms/legs etc lately. That I do like. I’m at 9 weeks out from Nats today, 8 weeks from the Sacramento show. So still plenty of time to draw things in and I feel like I’m ahead of schedule which is what he wants.

The excitement to get out there again has been slowly coming back. I lost it for a second. I guess it was more of a defeated kind of thing like damn I did my best, but I’m still not where I needed to be. But now I’m so goddamned determined to really do well this show, and mostly because I’m now making a major investment in it. Like the stakes are higher now and I have something to prove to myself so it’s time to get on the ball and do it. I know I can, and I want to, I’m hungry to. So now it’s about staying par for the course and not let self doubt step in and rear its ugly head.

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