I’ve been there before, SEVERAL TIMES during this year.  In the midst of each of my preps, some situation showed up that completely threw me off.  I have been so close to throwing in the towel and just saying F it so many times.  In fact, weeks before Nationals, I almost decided to not do the show at all.  I was tired, overwhelmed with things that had been put aside in order to focus on stepping on stage, just wanting to be normal again despite the commitment I made for myself to step on stage.  What I realized at that moment in my life is that I have a choice.  I can choose to just allow all of the things I had been experiencing that I perceived as negative to get to me, or I can choose to walk with my head high, endure the perceived difficulty in my situation, and just handle everything one at a time without ALLOWING myself to become so overwhelmed I ceased to function.

I obviously chose the latter and came out triumphant.  But the beauty in it all is being able to look back on my success and know the STORY behind that success.  Acknowledging the strength, mentally and emotionally, I gained by not allowing myself to give up on ME.

We all have that thought that when things are perfect I can concentrate.  When things are calm again, only then can I do what I set to accomplish.  But as with life, those moments too are fleeting.  Everything is going well then BANG it all falls to hell yet again.  Then what?  Do you give up, or do you just acknowledge the obstacle, maneuver as best you can around it, then proceed with an acceptance that things are not perfect but you choose not to give up on you.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t have moments like this ALL THE TIME. Because I certainly do.  I’m kind of going through one now.  But I make the choice to put all anxieties aside, walk with my head high, keep focused on what I want my outcome to be, and just proceed as best as I CAN.

No moment will ever be perfect.

The timing will never be JUST right.  But even if it is, the drive to have strength and faith in YOU is the power that will always see you through.

I spent most of my 20s as a professional dancer.  I naturally hold most of my weight in my legs.  But dancing made it more pronounced.

(Took the above pic today – 12/7/2011.  My leg work these days are mostly high volume and lighter to moderate weights, I’ll explain that in another post!)

I always lacked upper body strength and for a long time sucked monkey ballz at push ups and pull ups.  However as I realized how much strength training could IMPROVE my dancing, I started really seriously training heavy for the upper body, and I slowly began to fill out in size and shape.

Fast forward to now.

After years of training, years of doing every kind of periodized program under the sun.  Years of different lifting techniques, etc etc, I found that keeping a simple basic premise to be the best solution for really putting on the size I wanted.  And as I became more and more serious about stepping on a stage and allowing every inch and contour of my body to be judged by total strangers, balancing out my physique has become even more crucial, and more of an art.  But over the years, one practice has always remained the same.  To build the body, to put on size, you’ve got to lift heavy, you’ve got to keep reps btw 6-12, you’ve got to work over various amounts of volume, and having some power training in the program design is also VERY important as well.  Over the last few weeks, I’ve been doing a more simplified approach with the above statements as my driving force behind the why’s/what’s/how’s of each of my workouts.  But for the next couple of weeks, I really want to put some new stressors on my body and see how it responds as far as improving the size and shape of various areas that I want to build up.

So I developed a little plan for myself to crush my back in the gym!  I love lifting heavy, I love challenges, and really I just love the monster pump I feel in the bellies of those fabulous balloons of mine.  No not my boobs!  My muscles damn it.  It’s the best feeling in the world!  But anyways so today I kicked it up a notch by wanting to include some mixed sets of straight reps, followed by a set or two of negatives, and then the final set performed as a drop set starting with the heaviest weight usually performed for 6 reps – drop the weight – complete to failure (usually about 6-8 reps), then drop for one more completed to failure (usually about 4-6 reps).  For me failure means that last rep is a challenge to perform, my form is still spot on, and really I can’t do one more without it all going to shit.  You may say within one rep short of complete failure, as I never get to the point of ABSOLUTE failure.  I don’t use spotters or any of that, so I’m even more of a stickler of making sure I use the appropriate weight for what I’m doing and to avoid unnecessary injury.

So without further ado, here is what I did today in z gym!

**This training cycle I threw calves into my workout as I want to bring them up a bit more.  Since my focus is on growth in specific areas right now, I’m doing a split routine most training days except for one when it’s strictly Olympic lifts and total body power training.  Today’s split is Back/Bi’s/Calves.**

I begin my workouts with about 3-5 mins of low intensity cardio (like a walk on the treadmill or pedaling on the bike) just to raise body/tissue temperature, then I follow with foam rolling for the muscle groups that I’ll be focusing on, then some dynamic stretching for those same groups to move through full ranges of motion prior to training.

After all of that, now the fun begins!

Narrow Reverse Grip Lat Pull Down

(I do a lot of wide grip pulls and pull ups, so it was high time to switch angles up a bit.)

Set Up:  2 Warm Up Sets (about 6 reps) - 4 Working Sets –  2-3 mins rest btw sets

1^st set normal 8r to failure (as described above)

2^nd and 3^rd set Negatives 6-8r to failure (tempo is 4/0/2/0)

4^th Set drop (6r – 8r- 10r no rest go straight one after the other) – I like to start with a weight I can max out with 6 reps and strip from there.  I AIM to hit 8 reps in the next immediate set but it’s a challenge, and I almost NEVER hit a full 10 unless I go super light and by that time I have a tear rolling down my cheek, lol.  I also tend to take a long break between this set of the exercise and the exercise that I do after just because it really taxes the body and I want as full a recovery I can get.

**Hit 105# on my pull today.  Could have gone heavier, but shoulder was a little tight today and I’m mindful of it.  But no worries, got my $115 deep tissue massage booked to get it kinked out.  For that price, that shit better be good!  I hear the MT is amazing though.**

Wide Grip T Bar Row
Set Up: 1-2 Warm Up Sets (about 6 reps), 3 Working Sets – 2-3 mins rest btw sets
1^st Normal 8r,

2^nd  Negative 6-8r

3^rd Drop (6, 8, 10)

Rope Lat Push Down (Body Slightly Parallel to the floor/Torso slightly angled forward but back totally straight - for me allows a greater stretch through the lats and a greater range of motion for the exercise.  I have hella long arms).

Set Up: 1 Warm Up, 3 Working Sets, 2-3 mins rest btw sets

1^st Normal 8r

2^nd  Negative 6-8r

3^rd Drop (6, 8, 10)

Standing Calf Raise BB

Set Up: 2 Warm Up, 4 working sets, 3-4 mins rest (I worked legs yesterday for high volume and they were a bit taxed.  My calves were ok, but I tend to burn out pretty quickly when I go heavy.  So I give them more rest so I can actually fully complete the subsequent sets).

1^st set 6 reps

2^nd set 8r

3^rd set 10r

4^th set 12 reps

**Stripping weight with each set**

Cambered Bar Cable Bicep Curl (Since Biceps are assistor muscles to the lats and come into play whenever you work back, I only do a minimal number of sets for them by this point, they’re already pretty taxed)

Set Up: 1 warm up, 2 Working sets performed to failure, about 2 mins rest btw sets

1^st set 6 reps

2^nd set 8  reps

Seated Calf Raise

1 warm up, 2 sets, about 2-3 mins rest

1^st set 6 reps

2^nd set 8 reps

After I hit up some more foam rolling on the muscle groups worked, then followed up with static stretching.  I’ll be following this set up on my Back/Bi/Calves day for the next few weeks…  Let’s see how I develop.

**I know some might attempt this workout, however keep in mind, it’s more of an advanced program, so I wouldn’t jump into this type of training if you’re just starting out.  I normally cycle into a workout like this after a few weeks of “adaptive” type of training which tends to be higher reps, lighter weights, minimal rest.  That kind of workout is more based on muscular endurance, stabilization, coordination, and is the cornerstone of adaption for levels of advanced lifting.  I follow that kind of workout for a few weeks before moving into a BASIC lifting program, and then go on to advanced set ups from there.  So train smart folks!**

2011 NPC Nationals - Figure E

Well what can I say?  I am SUPER proud of the wonderful package I brought to the national level stage this time around.  What I presented was a much more streamlined physique that was strong and lean.  My focus over the last few months since Team Universe was to bring down my legs and keep the upper body full, strong, and tight.  I fulfilled all of those goals and caught the attention of the judges.

Now I didn’t place as high as I would have liked to.  I placed 15th out of about 50 women in my height class.  There were nearly 1000 competitors total in this the largest show the NPC has seen.  So to be given the nod of approval from the judges on any level is amazing.

Miami was the BEST ever.  Got a chance to catch up with competitor friends, hung out with the most amazing women ever, and watch some friends turn pro.  Truly inspiring and really motivating to put the fire under my ass so I too can one day stand proudly next to them on the IFBB stage.

But now it’s all about rest and mapping out my game plan for next year.  I’ve got some big things planned that I will share in due time.  I realize after this show what it is that I need to do to reach my fullest potential in this “sport.”  And I’m ready to face it all head on, unabashed, and ready to rock and roll!

So here’s to my off season, and the new horizons I am about to embark on!

This was such an amazing victory because this was the show that started it all for me back in 2010.  The growth I’ve had since then has been amazing.  I’ve been able to accomplish a goal, and not only just accomplish it, but take it beyond any extent of my wildest dreams.  But as you know, the buck doesn’t stop here, I want to go ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP EXTREME F’KING OVERACHIEVER HERE.

In case you’d like to check out the festivities first hand, here is a clip of me doing my individual presentation at the night show, and the overall comparison.

Again, I am so very thankful, and as you can see, quite surprised by the win.  Hopefully there will be more in my future.

Now the new focus is at hand.  And that focus is the 2011 NPC Nationals.  Now this will be my second try at competing on the national level.  I feel a good sense of confidence swinging into this show on a high note.  I’m planning on making some minor tweaks, slow down my posing a bit, adjust some things I noticed in my mandatories, etc.  My only goal for this show is to place.  That’s the only expectation I have for myself.  To expect anything more is a.) out of my control, and b.) a hell of a lot of fucking pressure.  To be honest, of course my competitive mind always ALWAYS plays to win, but I know if I come in my best, that best should at least this time find me as being recognized with a respectable placing.  And that’s all I can control.

To me the body is a blank pile of clay waiting to be sculpted and molded into whatever shape you’d like.  Train it and it will adapt.  Train a certain way, and it will adapt in a way to become more efficient at the training style you give it.  You don’t want the body to become efficient at anything when it comes to body transformation, hence the need to keep reaching to new levels and new heights.  So this last preparation is about transformation.

When I look at my physique I have a very unique outlook.  I can see myself as the competitor.  I can stand back and appreciate the hard work I’m putting in, and follow orders (my own well planned and fully thought out orders) to get to the physique I want.  Then there’s that other part of me.  The coaching side who takes a step back and assesses what REALLY needs to be done.  I’m never at a point where I feel like, yep it’s complete.  Because perfection can never truly be attained, but getting to my own brand and level of perfection based upon MY STRUCTURE and MY GENETICS can be.  And at the end of the day, that’s all you’ve got really.

So the goal and game plan for this next and final prep cycle is to bring in a tighter overall package than at TOC.  From presentation to physique, I want to step to a level I have yet to reach.  As a figure girl, you could never have a small enough waist, a wide enough back, or round enough shoulders.  So the goal for me is to get to exactly that mold as much as I can within the next 8 weeks.  The good news is that I’m already there having 3 shows now under my belt for this season.  So the tweaking only needs to be minor, and I don’t have to kill myself to do it (thank God).

Since the show, I had taken about 10 days off of dieting and training.  It was time to relax and recoup.  And BOY did my body need it.  I was tired, so I slept.  I was hungry so I ate whatever I wanted within reason.  I still had my healthy stuff in there, just didn’t worry too much about measuring, just ate a normal portion size (which for me really is just a bit above what I eat when I normally prep, so it’s not too bad).  I allowed myself my indulgences.  2 slices of cheesecake, lol IN 10 DAYS OK!  And a burger in there, some fries, Thai food one day, and sushi another.  After that I was done.  I pretty much walked away with some weight gain, most of it sub q water, some of it my muscles being refilled with glycogen and water, and minimal fat.  I started back on my eating plan on Sunday and I dropped quite a bit of water and I’m still dropping more since I’m peeing like an open fire hydrant (hello gallon of water p/day, I’m baaack!).  My weight has fluctuated between n 8, 14, and 10 lbs gain (in a matter of 2 days, lol).  I didn’t weigh myself this morning, however I was looking leaner than yesterday this afternoon, so I decided to see where I’m at out of curiosity.  I weigh less this afternoon than I did yesterday, so my body is still adjusting, and I expect it to over the next few days.

My first official workout in the gym was today!  Ok so I’ll admit, I really felt like I was going to die, lol.  A workout that I was so easily knocking out a few short weeks ago OWNED ME today.  It’s so funny how quickly the body deconditions when you don’t keep up what you’re doing.  Use it or lose it, so very true.  Some of that energy change also has to do with the fact that today was my first day of low carbs, so that coupled with the above = Roxie face planted on the floor after her workout.  But after a few days, I’ll adjust and be just fine.  I decided to take a cyclical ketogenic diet (CKD) approach this time around because I want to drop just a little more weight, come in a few lbs smaller than the TOC show, and lose just a bit more body fat.  I’m not really focused right now on losing any more muscle.  I’ve done enough of that, so the goal for now is simply fat loss and muscle maintenance again.  Normally, I go more moderate with my carbs and never really go too far past 100g per day on my low days (lowest I’ve been has been about 85-90g on non training days).  But with only 8.5 weeks left, I’m taking a little more of an aggressive approach, and I’ll stay closely monitored to how my body is reacting and make adjustments as I go.

My diet and training is very specifically designed (you KNOW I can do nothing without a game plan).  Mon-Sat will be low carb days.  I start Mon at 100g, Tues 90g, Wed 80g, Thurs 75g, Fri/Sat 50g, and on Sunday I have a huge refeed with 260g for the day.  So basically the idea is to deplete glycogen, get my body into a bit of ketosis, then refeed to upregulate my system once a week and avoid crap shooting my adrenal and metabolic system.  My workout schedule will be depletion workouts M-W, Thurs off, Fri Strength, Sat off, and Sunday Strength/Power supersets mix.  So by the time my refeed arrives, my body will be primed and ready for the carb load and still fervently burn fat while preserving this hard earned muscle.  I’m keeping my calories a little on the low side for me; Monday I start off around 1400 then by Sat I’m down to about 1250 relying on protein and healthy fats as the main sources of cals, veggies basically making up the rest.  So needless to say, I’ll be wiped out.  I keep my carbs centered around my workouts so I have the energy to get through them and work my hardest however I failed to do that today because I suck, but have learned my lesson well, don’t do that AGAIN EVER.  My refeed days will find me back at maintenance cals (que Heavenly Angel Music — aaah aaaaah aaaaaaah!).

Here’s a little glimpse at my workout today!  A 500 rep ass kicker that will be performed every Monday for the next 3 weeks…  Each of those exercises for 20 reps, 30-60 secs rest btw exercises, 60-90 secs between circuits.  Repeated 5 times!  No cardio after, I thought that I’d be able to knock out some intervals at the end for about 15-20 mins.  But boy was I wrong!  My heart rate stayed above 150 BPM during the circuits, so cardio wasn’t even needed or wanted!

Yesterday’s refeed was a great success.  I was able to fill up and fill out without spilling and looking bloated or watery.  I’m fuller today, drier, looking good.  This was taken this morning:

The carbs were a yummy and welcomed addition to my week.  I had some really great choices.

M1 – Pancakes, Maple syrup, egg whites

M2 – Chicken Breast and Pasta w/ Tomato Basil Sauce

M3 – Chicken Breast and 2 Whole Wheat 8″ Tortillas

M4 – Brown Rice and Tilapia

M5 – Egg Whites and Fish Oil Caps

**2 McDonald’s Fat Free Ice Cream Cones!**  A little treat for myself.  One post workout and one later on in the day.

Altogether my macros hit P-149g F-24g C-259g.

You know as this day comes to a close, I stand in awe of myself.  It took me two months to mold a totally different body.  Two months of precise training, completely specialized and customized diet, and just intelligently applying the science of training and nutrition to my physique.  And the end result is this:

I’m really excited to see how my changes are recieved.  I feel like I finally look like a figure competitor of today’s standard.  Doing this alone is such a challenge, but it’s obviously a challenge I can handle.  Here’s to my ONE YEAR anniversary of hitting the stage.  Finally after 10 years of saying I’d find time for ME and do this, I’ve knocked that goal out of the ballpark, and found something that brings be great passion.

I’m exhausted!  Off to bed, huge day tomorrow…  This story isn’t done yet.

Felt like trying on the old jewelry and getting the hair did up a bit to test out some possible looks for Saturday.  Of course the full effect won’t be seen until I’m tanned, made-up, and fully primed for the stage.  But this is just a wee little taste.  Me likey!

Pretty much, since nothing big really happened workout wise, it was all about the diet.  Today was comprised of mostly protein and fats here and there.  I ended up dropping the sweet potato in my meal 2 and replaced it with almonds instead just to be sure I’m fully depleted and ready for my refeed set for tomorrow.  Here’s what the plan looked like:

Simple easy.  I am tired though.  I have this craving for coffee lately like mad!  I found these amazing flavors, Coconut Macaroon and Sea Salt Caramel, that taste SO yummy with a little Sun Crystals (stevia/sugar blend sweetener).  I put in a little pure vanilla extract and cinnamon too.  OOOH so yummy.  But seriously, I can’t be turning into a coffee fiend.

Tomorrow is my scheduled refeed.  My only one this week.  This is the time where I will now load up on some carbs (a mix of slow digesting and refined ones) to bring some fullness to my muscles and drive some sub q water into there as well.  I tested the carbs out last week that I’ll use, and I came in nice and full all the way through Saturday.  So this will be EXCELLENT as my first meal will be… PANCAKES!  Real pancakes that I’ll make myself.  Also on the agenda, sweet potatoes, rice, pasta and tomato sauce, and whole wheat flour tortillas (I’m gonna make  a fajita).  Fats will be SUPER low (around 25-30g for the day), carbs SUPER high, and protein about 1xBW.  I’ll be pretty much at maintenance calories, and I can’t wait, my body is really CRAVING a refeed.  The only thing that sucks is the up and down glycogen rush.  Hell screw it, I’ll take it!  Expect lots of food porn tomorrow.

I’m off to prep my meals!