I am throwing in the towel.
Hold on it’s not that dramatic. I’m going to hand the reigns to someone else, and I’m hiring a coach. I just can’t manage ME anymore. I can’t step outside of myself and see what’s real and what’s in my head. That is going to hold me back from my goal of turning pro so it needs to be nipped in the bud.
At 8 weeks or so out, I realize that the need to get leaner and what my body needs to continue to run are two different things. And I will have to choose one or the other. I will of course choose to compete at the moment.
I am already talking to the person I will likely hire. I trust his knowledge and I’ve seen his work. I will announce who this person is as soon as we are all set up. It’s a bittersweet moment for me right now. I love that I’ve taken myself this far, but to get to the next level and to be standing on stage next to the women whom I admire, I need to put ego aside and allow someone else to get me to the next point. The trainer I mentioned earlier, he’s no longer at Gold’s, there was some incident that happened (of which I never got the full details), and they banned him. Fucking drama, I hate drama, why is there always drama AT THE GYM!!! Gosh, anyways. I feel more comfortable with the coach I’m planning on working with, as I know he can get me to where I need to be to walk away on top. This is an extra expense I probably don’t have at the moment, but you know what, whatever, I make money and it’s time to spend that money on something that matters. I saved with the suit, I don’t have to pay for a hotel in NYC for Team U, I likely won’t have to pay for a hotel for the USAs either if I don’t turn pro at Team U, and I’ll be driving to Vegas. So let’s spend the $ where it matters. Or screw it, I’ll have my boy toy pay for it… Did I say that…. lol
So stay tuned, will have this all explained in greater detail in the next few days.