So I guess this is where I should be all excited about hitting the stage in my first National Show. But for now, it just feels like just another show. I’m not nervous or anything. I know the final package will fall into place with hair/make-up/tan/suit/shoes/stage lights/audience. I know as I’m on the plane flying into NY it will hit me and be real. Right now, I have nothing to compare it to so I can’t really get emotionally attached to it. Except for the desire for myself to place well. Now, THAT, is a really real thing for me. A real goal and desire. So I use that to fuel my workouts.

In actuality I guess I’m kind of bored. Having come off of one show already, I’m pretty lean. In fact I’m going to be starting my peak week LIGHTER than I was for the Cals. I’m sure I’ll be starting in the 134’s which will make me in the low 130s if I predict properly. I was around 132 or so last time. Here’s today’s photo:

So that’s 2 weeks out. I’m kinda figuring what to do now. I mean, really when you see me in person, I’m pretty damn lean. And that’s without a water drop. I took those photos in the middle of the day. 2 days after a huge carb refeed (320g for the day), after eating all day lol. Hours after a workout. A salt marinated steak/veggies meal. I mean all the things that could make a girl hold water like a freakin camel. So now imagine a water drop… Yeah. So I’m like ok, I don’t want to get too lean because the girls winning/placing are coming in soft with just a little seperation, nobody is super dry or anything. So I kind of feel like I don’t want to do too much and miss the mark. So I have to kind of hold back with my workouts and go more traditional strength training because my normal workouts would just have me shredded. So that makes me kinda bored lol. Although I still can’t walk after my leg workout, so it’s not like it ain’t workin. 

I’m going to start packing my bags for the trip this weekend. I should have it all packed up and ready to go by Monday. Like this Monday.  I like to be UBER prepared. Amy just mailed my suit bottoms back, so I can’t wait to get my hands on them and see how the adjusted cut looks on me. She’s giving me a deeper V in the front and back. Which means that I will be going for my first bikini wax at Bliss Spa. I don’t do waxing because that ish HURTS. I tried to do an at home one once, well… Yeah that was a total disaster. I hate pain. But everyone says that the waxes at Bliss don’t hurt. I think they’re bullshitting, but I’m just going to have to go up in there and do my thang because if Amy cut my suit the way I requested, it’s going to be a small piece of fabric, lol. 

Anyways, so. I’ve been posing like a mad woman. I’ll spare you the video(s). Victor and I will be working together again on Saturday for some final tips etc. I feel ok about it. I mean obviously what I was doing before wasn’t working (I knoooow what you’re gonna say, but shhhhh). I kinda feel more in line with how the pros pose as I’ve been studying a lot of the girls to see positioning of the arms etc etc. So now I’m more in synch. I feel smaller though, softer, so hopefully that will help with that aspect of my presentation. I still want to show off my freakin muscularity because damn it I have size and I love it.

This is turning into mindless drivel. I need a protein shake.

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